5 Reasons Why Dating Can Feel Addicting

Do you often find yourself glued to your phone, constantly swiping left and right, checking which dating profile catches your eye? What about jumping from one relationship to another, with a short time gap between partners?

Or it could be that you’ve already met someone you like, you find yourself going back to your favorite dating sites.

If you relate to any of these, then you might have a dating addiction.

According to a 2016 PubMed research, people in romantic relationships often experience behaviors similar to addiction. There’s euphoria, cravings, dependency, withdrawal, and even depression.

Once you get pulled in, it can become hard to ignore. And you wonder to yourself, “Why is that?”

Here are some reasons to consider:

1. Dating apps

With huge leaps in technology and society’s evolution in meeting new people, dating apps have evolved from dark chat rooms and sleazy websites to reaching at least 5 million downloads across various digital devices.

With popular slogans like “We make dating fun again,” or “Find your love right now,” it’s incredible how far the dating game has grown compared to the late 19th and early 20th century.

With the ability to talk to potential partners in the palm of your hand, it can sometimes feel like you’re a kid again inside a candy shop. With so many options to choose from, it can be difficult to pick only one.

And once you’ve tried it, you may end up coming back to pick another one.

2. Self-esteem booster

It’s thrilling to feel and receive affection from someone. The words I like you can make you feel wanted and irresistible.

There’s nothing wrong with feeling good when you’re with another person, but if you’re only getting into a relationship to boost your self-esteem and not for the right reasons, then you might have a hard time with your partner.

You might only be in it for the feel-good moments, whereas they might be looking for something more substantial.

Relationships aren’t all black and white. Sometimes everything isn’t as straightforward as we want it to be.

3. The cravings

A 2018 case study says there is a link between love and dopamine. As we all know, dopamine is a neurotransmitter that sends messages to our nerve cells.

It’s mostly responsible for how we feel pleasure. In short, the more dopamine our body produces, the more we end up feeling euphoric.

However, studies also suggest that cravings and longing for love will eventually fade over time as the relationship evolves into stability.

4. The thrill of the chase

Some people love the thrill of the chase. They enjoy the spike of endorphins and dopamine — which feels wonderful — once they manage to successfully receive their first kiss, or when the person finally says yes to going out with them.

It can feel new and exciting, especially during the first stages of the relationship, but unfortunately, it doesn’t last forever. Eventually, the rush of endorphins no longer happens.

We often mistake this for no longer being romantically interested in a person, but real commitment happens after the honeymoon phase of the relationship. This is where most people are tested and where their true intentions are revealed.

5. Idealizing love

Ever since we were young, we’ve been bombarded with subliminal images about love. From fairy tale stories to romantic movies, we were indoctrinated that there’s a perfect partner for us out there and when we find them, they will complete us.

As we grow older, we end up constantly searching for that person without seriously considering that a real relationship takes hard work, deep commitment, and a willingness to change.

It can bring up unrealistic expectations from potential love partners. Also, don’t forget the energy and amount of time being invested in order to find a real connection with someone.

How to overcome it and look for a healthier, balanced dating life

If you’re working to overcome your dating addiction in order to make way for a stable and healthy relationship, then here are a few tips that might help:

• Reality check

If you have a tendency to idolize the feeling of love, then it might be a good idea to take a step back and check your expectations if they’re realistic or not.

We often get sucked into the illusion that our partner will be able to meet all our needs. But this isn’t true at all.

A committed partner can provide you a feeling of belongingness, emotional support, and even help you develop into a better person, but they cannot meet all of your demands.

• Take a break from relationships

If you notice negative patterns emerging in most of your relationships, it might be a good idea to trace where these patterns come from. This means taking some alone time and reflecting deep within.

Ask yourself these questions:

Am I currently satisfied with my relationship? Why or why not?

What exactly am I looking for in a relationship?

Be honest with yourself as much as you can. If you can’t find the answers to those questions or you no longer feel you want to continue the relationship, it might be time to take a break.

Remember that you should never feel compelled or obligated to keep a relationship going for the sake of appearances, but you are obligated to be honest with your partner about your intentions in order to avoid long-term harm.

• Practice self-love

A lack of self-love could contribute to co-dependency and addiction behaviors. You need to work upon building your self-esteem by learning to identify negative self-talk or self-doubts.

It won’t be easy if negative self-talk takes over your perspective. But by practicing positive self-talk, you’ll be able to feel better about yourself and it can help you find better relationships.

In one way or another, we’re all addicted to love. We crave bonds and connections to help sustain us in our continued existence. No man is an island, after all.

A desire for a healthy and stable relationship is completely normal. And if your dating lifestyle doesn’t harm you or anyone else, you won’t need to worry about it.