Taking a Closer Look at Infidelity

Most people think they know everything about infidelity, when in fact, they don’t.

When you take a closer look at it, it goes beyond being romantically involved with someone other than your woman. In the context of relationships, it’s when you break your promise to remain faithful to your partner.

While most people often associate it with having sexual affairs, there are other types of infidelity besides sexual.

The Types of Affairs

Infidelity or, as other people call it, an affair, is multifaceted; it takes on many forms. Some call it a love affair, an extramarital affair, or even a simple fling. Regardless of its name, it will always be defined as an unfaithful act.

Here are some of the most common types of affairs that you should know about:

1. Cyber

Online affairs are one of the most common.

With the chronic rise of social media applications and dating sites, people now have different and countless ways to talk to someone online.

And because of today’s modern advancements and technological wonders, deleting conversations and call history has become easier. It’s easy for anyone to pretend their online romance never existed.

But is it really an affair if you haven’t met each other personally?

Yes, it still is, and it’s called a cyber affair.

2. Emotional

Emotional affairs lack sexual intimacy but feed on an intense level of emotional affection that can easily develop into a sexual affair.

While it innocently starts as a friendship, over time, it evolves into something more.

Instead of emotionally investing in their own romantic relationship, people who commit this type of affair invest their emotions in someone other than their partner.

3. Casual

A casual affair is a combination of physical and (often) emotional cheating. It is when you and your paramour engage in sexual relations but don’t label or formalize your romantic relationship despite existing romantic feelings. In other words, there is no romantic attachment present.

4. Sanctioned

A sanctioned affair is almost similar to having an open relationship. It’s when you and your partner mutually agree to have allowable affairs. For it to work, both of you need to play by the rules you agreed upon. Though consensual, this type of affair can be equally damaging as the others.

5. Romantic

It’s also a love affair. It happens when you fall in love with another woman outside of your primary relationship and engage in sexual acts together. In this case, there is both emotional and physical cheating.

The Psychology Behind Infidelity

According to Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, love isn’t so much of an emotion. It’s a brain system that’s mainly related to mating and reproduction, and it’s also the reason why we’re still capable of cheating even if we highly value love.

To help you have a deeper understanding of infidelity in relationships, here are a few common reasons why some people cheat:

1. They do it as an act of revenge.

Some people use cheating as a passive-aggressive and non-confrontational way to get back at their partner.

2. They do it as a last resort for fulfilling their sexual needs.

It’s possible they haven’t been getting enough satisfying physical intimacy in the relationship, this prompts them to look for it elsewhere.

3. They do it to vent out their frustrations.

Cheating can also be used as an outlet to vent out frustration, especially when there are unresolved issues in the relationship.

4. They do it to gain back control and power.

When a controlling person loses power in the relationship, they will likely cheat. From their perspective, it’s a rebellious way of telling others they still hold control in the relationship.

Signs of Infidelity In A Relationship

Catching a cheating partner is not the same as in movies.

Unfaithful partners behave in a certain way that somehow makes them more likely to be caught. For some, they don’t need signs because their instincts will tell them so.

But how do you catch a cheating partner?

Below are some signs to take note of:

1. They have secretive gestures when using their mobile phone.
2. They spend more time at work all of a sudden.
3. They go to questionable late-night appointments that don’t normally take place.
4. They constantly need to clear their browsing history.
5. They behave unusually.
6. They spend so much time on a new hobby without even telling you about it or asking you to do it together with them.
7. They’re distant from you.
8. They show a drastic change in their attitude, especially when you’re alone or with your family.
9. They stop posting about you or your family on social media.
10. As the affair goes on, they become increasingly unreachable.
11. They constantly make suspicious extra purchases (probably gifts for their paramour).
12. They’re no longer sexually intimate with you.

Is it possible to cheat on someone you love?

Yes.

It’s possible to cheat on someone you love.

Happy couples can still suffer from infidelity. You should know that cheating isn’t always about a lack of love or dissatisfaction in the relationship.

Sometimes, infidelity happens because of the people in the relationship. It can be a result of deep-seated insecurity or inferiority complex. To some, cheating on one’s partner feeds their egotistical and selfish needs.

Can cheaters change?

• Perspective: The Partner Who Cheated

You have almost no right to ask whether you can change, especially if you’re the one who ruined your relationship. It’s always up to you to change and make it up to your partner, whether or not she forgives you for the pain you’ve caused her.

Sincerely being sorry for everything you’ve done is the first step. Acknowledge your mistake and understand her resentment towards you. Don’t blame her for not trusting you right away because she has every right to.

Make sure that before you decide to stay with her after having an affair, you know in yourself that it’s what you truly want.

Be genuine and give her all the love and happiness she deserves.

• Perspective: The Partner Who’s Been Cheated On

It’s totally understandable if you think that she won’t ever change. Suffering from the pain you went through, it’s your choice to stay with her or not. Know that forgiving and accepting her is a choice that you shouldn’t force yourself to make.

However, there’s nothing wrong with keeping the door open. For all the right reasons, cheaters can change. It’s possible for them to evolve and become better versions of themselves for the sake of their loved ones.

Needless to say, infidelity is painful. It’s a complex thing to understand because it happens for a lot of reasons. People make mistakes but people also change.

When you’re in a relationship, know your worth. At the same time, treasure the one who’s been beside you all along.